Even though she’s nearing 70, Suzanne Somers says she just can’t get enough sex and has admitted it’s because she and her husband, Alan Hamel, take hormones. Judging by her body, mind and spirit, she might be on to something.
KLG: Well, she has sex four times by 7 a.m. — by her own admission. I’m not putting her down, I adore Suzanne and I love Alan, so whatever she has discovered with those hormones is working for her.
HK: He’s on ’em, too.
KLG: They’re so pumped up with hormones.
KLG: And mostly laughing.
HK: Laughing. Laughing and boinking.
KLG: Secret to happiness: laughing and boinking. Or boinking and laughing, or laughing while you’re boinking. That’s my personal favorite.
Somers isn’t the only one with a hot bod who’s eligible for an AARP membership — check out Sharon Stone.
KLG: She adopted her children, right?
HK: Is that why her breasts are so perky?
KLG: That’s why her breasts are still perky. She’s 56.
HK: I can’t believe that her ta-tas are so high. I didn’t have children, and this I don’t have. That’s amazing! What is that?
KLG: It’s either called natural beauty or access to the finest doctors in America, or a combination of both. She’s a beautiful woman.
HK: She’s not shy. I mean, wow — no bra! That’s something that I would never, never, never do.
KLG: Well, Hoda once in a while forgets her underwear after the gym. That’s why I work out also at home. My nails done, everything — everything’s done at home, where I can’t embarrass myself even further than what I already do sitting with Hoda every morning. Embarrass yourself at home, where the people who live there are stuck with you.
HK: They already know. It’s not a surprise.
SHE’S BENT ON BEING PRIVATE?
Hilaria and Alec Baldwin constantly complain how they have no privacy — and yet here she is posting pics of herself doing yoga in odd places.
KLG: Is she avoiding publicity? Or practicing for the gynecologist? Maybe she’s just limbering up ’cause she has a Pap smear later in the day. Who knows? That’s what I suspect. That’s what I do. The difference is, I do it at home. I get my nails done at home.
HK: You are hysterical. That’s it. Done.
AIRLINE SENDS A MESSAGE
As the hunt for the missing Malaysian jetliner goes on, the airline sent text messages this week to the victims’ loved ones, informing them that all hope of survival was gone.
HK: At first, I sort of thought it was bad form, but then again, if the airline was to try to reach all the victims’ loved ones face to face, or even attempt to call everybody at the same time, they may not have been able to find all the people they needed to find right away.
KLG: There were people from all over the world.
HK: I would still not want to hear tragic news like this in a text message. Period.
KLG: The other part is, there still is no definitive proof of what happened. So it’s like, “All right, we’re off the front pages now that we texted everyone. We’re good. Let’s go. Next!”
HK: It does seems more like they just want everyone to go away.
KEEPING TABS ON KIMYE
Love ’em or hate ’em, it’s shocking to see Kanye West and Kim Kardashian on the cover of Vogue, a magazine that has long prided itself on rising above celebrity covers.
HK: When you look at the newsstands at the airports or wherever and you see all the magazines, when you see Kim and Kanye, you think you’re buying In Touch or you think you’re buying Us or think you’re buying OK! …
KLG: Something tabloid-ish.
HK: I can’t wait to find out how it sells. Was it worth the gamble? I think Vogue is trying to sell magazines. I think Kim and Kanye are trying to be off the other covers and be respected.
KLG: I agree. They’re looking for legitimacy as a couple and as a fashion force. To truly gain legitimacy, I think in that creative world she has to leave the reality world and accomplish something that people take note of.
BIEBER MUST BE IN DEAN-IAL
What is Justin Bieber doing this week? He’s posting pictures of himself posing as James Dean.
KLG: Lock him up until he’s over 24. Let him out when he’s 25 and has no more desire to emulate somebody that destroyed his life.
HK: Just comparing yourself to someone so iconic is also one of those head-scratchers.
Selena Gomez stuns at Vanity Fair Oscar Party (left) while stunning on Instagram — naked.
CURTAIN RISES ON ACT 2
A month or so out of rehab, Selena Gomez is getting lots of attention again — especially after she posted a picture of herself on Instagram this week in which she’s naked but wrapped in gauzy-looking curtains.
KLG: What did she go to rehab for? And don’t say exhaustion; when you’re 20, you’re not exhausted.
HK: She’s with Bieber, so maybe she checked in for something like “love rehab.”
KLG: She was raised in a deeply spiritual home, just like Miley was and just like Bieber was, and they’re all rebelling against it. I’m just hoping that one day they’ll get back on track.
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